Relationship as a Mother Fucker

Sorry if this is a long post yall, but I had this shit drafted for a couple days and now im finishing to post.

So Fuck this motherfucking bullshit. I am going to rant on some relationship problems just for the hell of it. Now what I am disclosing here is real talk! About three months ago, me and my girlfriend broke up. Well you know what? I'll start from the motherfucking beginning.

Date is late September 2010. I been working with this girl for about 9 months and all of a sudden I started to get feelings for her. I heard its the law of attraction of repetition that if you see someone a lot and within a certain time frame, you will begin to see them in a different way. I dont know where I heard it but I think its a fact or some shit like that from scientists and shit. Well, I guess you can fucking say that happened to me. She just became the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. I had always seen her as a friend since we also went to the same university together and hang out on campus often. But then bam, like I fucking said, I became extremely attracted to her. Only problem, she has a fucking boyfriend of 2 or 3 years or whatever. Fuck that guy. We in our early 20s and that fucker is 40 by now. Old as our fucking parents!

So I was like shit yo, this the girl of my dreams for reals. We share so much in common and shit and our personalities are very much the same. Im also into astrology and that shit and a lot of people dont believe in it, but I did at that time. Im a pisces and shes a scorpio and that shit is a amazing match from what I read up on it. We both water signs and you know all about the properties of water and shit. Water likes to stick to water, shit. So I was like shit yo, I finna try and get with her, maybe something will happen. Maybe it was just the little bastard in me that wanted to get this girl. Its totally fuckin wack of me to even try and get at her since shes already taken but I dont even know what I was thinking. I was blinded by the whole perfect match shit.

And at the start of September her boyfriend motherfucker piece of shit goes off for a business trip for a month and a half or whatever. Oh yeah, I forgot, we all work together. Some shit right? Yeah, motherfucking shit. I guess he wasnt callin her enough or some shit or she was feelin all lonely because she call me up at like 11pm one night and we talk all the way up to like 3. This like the first time she ever call me that late or even for longer than 15 minutes. So i was like shit, wtf goin on yo. Maybe she need companionship. Aights ill just be there for her. So the next couple days we keep doin the same thing. Real long talks about absolutely nothing I can remember about. Haha. All I remember is joking about my xbox 360 and ipod and how she wanted to come play games and steal everything i got lol. And one night she was like hey yo, wanna go out to lunch sometimes? I was like sure why not.

So I find this korean place up in hellas far nauf county shit and we hit it off. Food was all good and shit for reals. Bimbimbop or whatever the fuck they call that shit. Its got like rice, vegetables and beef and they give out dishes of kimchi, spicy black beans and other korean condiments I guess. This was the first time I had korean so I aint know anything about this stuff. I think it mightve been her first time too since she was surprised as I was. Threw down prolly about 30-35 bucks on that Im guessin since we also had an app which was like a beef nori roll. Shit was aights.

That was like not really anything important but the start of all this shit because that night I told her my feelings. I felt like I needed to tell her because I just couldnt hold these fuckin feelings back no more. This was in my car on the campus parking lot. She was in the passenger seat and it was about 5pm or so. Shit was gettin dark. She was about to go and shit and gave me a hug and I was like thats all I get? She was like what do you want in return for tonight? I say, how bout a kiss? I dont know where I got the balls to even say that but I did. She shyly says, "really? you sure?" "Yeah, thatd mean a lot to me" is what I say or some shit like that. She then says yes but not yet. But I wasnt listening about the not yet part guess I jumped the gun on the yes part and came forward to kiss her. I kissed her on the lip and she was shocked and almost freakin out.

I WAS FREAKIN OUT! She didnt kiss me back! I was like oh shit what did I just do. I totally came on way too strong for this shit. I aint even tell her my feelings for her. I was sitting there like why aint she kiss me back. Oh shit im an idiot was running through my head the whole time.
I felt real uncomfrtable now and lost my cool for reals and Im sure the same thing was goin through her mind. She was like why did you kiss me on the lips? I was like, "Ummm, thats the only way I know of kissing girls" or some shit like that to make an excuse. Though I never said sorry because I wasnt lol. And then I told her everything. I was like, hey yo know we work together a long time and I started to have feelings for you about a month now. She was shocked. Real shocked. Like kept saying "really? Really? you feel that way about me?"

I was like yeah fosho. At that point my leg was visibly shaking. I was in all kinds of nervousness. I didnt know if she felt the same way or not so my heart was pounding out of my chest. I think we didnt speak for about a minute and then she says "do you really feel that way about me?" I reassured her once again. I said I wanted to experience it with someone I could never have. Then she said okay, lets kiss for reals. I was like no way! This is amazing!

Now that kiss was one of the best kisses I will always remember. It was that feeling of the forbidden. I knew I was wrong but it felt so right. Tongue action and everything. Man it was ecstasy. Then she said she had to go and goodnight.

I was driving home feeling good but at the same time sad. She would be the perfect girl that I would never have. It seems that always in my life this happens. Something fantastic comes my way and Im just too late to get it. I was punching the steering wheel the whole drive home feeling pissed off as why this always happen. Nothing ever I want happens to me.

I get home and my phone rings. Its her! I was like ionno if I should answer it might be awkward. I did anyways and we talked about random stuff like usual like nothing happened. My heart sank. I thought she really was going to forget what just happened and just stay friends. A little part of me wanted more and to be with her, and the other part knew it would never work. A part of me wanted to grow old with her and be happy.
You see that fucker in the picture with that glasses? That could be me and her right there by my side!

Then the subject came up to the kiss. I was like oh shit. She said I was a good kisser. NO WAY! I mean I knew I was an alright kisser but to be called good is like awesome. I said she was a great kisser too and we talked some more about what if we really a couple and shit like that.

Well I think thats enough for one installment. Ill post another one of these days and eventually Ill finish the whole story. That was just one major day of the relationship. We'll you know we did become bf/gf but it got weird. Youll just have to watch for the next post. C yaz fools. Its late as heo 4 a.m. and I couldnt sleep so I posted this but now Im sleepy. Got class and an exam this morning at 9 a.m. SHIET!